@Camille_Chaf I hear you, I’ve been feeling the exact same way lately. I haven’t been better in over 2 years (have actually been apartment bound for 2 years), but at one point in my 6.5 year journey with this I got maybe 85% better, went back to work, and got worse again and had to stop working and continue to get worse and worse.
Lately my anxiety has been through the roof about all of it. I have severe medication anxiety and I’m to the point where I know I need a medicine to get better, but after trying so many at low doses and being so sensitive to them, I don’t know how to deal with side effects and being worse anymore. I was supposed to start Lexapro today or tomorrow, and having already tried it twice (only lasted 1 day each time) I know it gives me nausea and heart burn. My biggest anxiety is around nausea and I can’t bring myself to take a medicine that is pretty guaranteed to have that side effect.
This medication anxiety has been tearing me apart. I’ve been extremely emotional about it, and any little thing can set me off into tears. I’ve tried multiple therapists over the years but haven’t found anyone to really help.
I too am very afraid and feel alone, even when my husband is here with me. Even more so when he’s here, actually. He and my mom are my support system, and I’ve going in vicious circles about medication worries for a year now and they don’t know what else to say to help me. My husband is literally silent when I try to talk to him about it now. I feel emotionally drained, overwhelmed, and just don’t know what to do.
Sorry this wasn’t a success story to give you some hope, but rather a “I’m in your boat” message.