Hey all, kinda having some odd feelings going on, and wondering if some have felt this way. I know we miss our old selves as we are in the midst of MAV hell, but I’ve had a better period (maybe some remission coupled with consistent weather finally), ive started a new job/career and am generally trying to put things back together. I feel like from where I was a year or a year and a half ago , thinking I’d never do a lot of the things I enjoyed again, worrying about working etc, to now, where I’m doing a lot of those things and trying to start a new career, I should be more thankful for my progress. But I keep getting stuck in missing some of the old me, old career, etc. Is this normal for those that have started things over again after MAV came into their lives? Like I should be happy for what I can do again, but I keep getting hung up on the old
Completely normal.
Take it as an opportunity to re-invent yourself. I have and it’s going pretty well, almost too well (I occasionally worry I’ll slip back health wise).
I’m doing things now which I would never have gotten into had life just gone on as it had been. It forced me to take risks … and they are starting to pay off.
Strangely MAV has opened doors.
Don’t look back. Onwards!!
It’s very normal to feel that way. It’s a long time since I was doing my so-called job of choice, and sometimes I feel a sense of painful longing for it. Then I think of my physical limitations and wonder how I ever did that work. Even though it’s better days with MAV, I just couldn’t guarantee my health would take me through the demands of the job I used to do. And, yes, it’s opened new doors. I have to accept that I was good at what I did before, but that chapter is firmly closed. And, as James says, we must go onwards and enjoy the new opportunities that might be thrown our way.
Most probably either a natural stage in the grieving process or just part of the perverse side of human nature! Life changes as we move through it, MAV or no MAV. It evolves. Nothing can improve without change. Helen
I think it sounds pretty normal, a way of grieving for what you’ve lost, and MAV can cause some pretty big losses in our lives. Take the time to honour how you feel, grieve, and slowly allow the past to become the past.
Idk I’m usually a more positive person when i post, but this dynamic is something I’ve struggled with as of late. I should be more grateful for where I am, but cant shake that longing for the past self. Thanks for the input and ensuring me that I’m not nuts for feeling this way!
Chris,
We all long for our former selves, whether that’s pre-MAV or just because we’re getting older. I used to love mountain biking and skiing. I wish I was still that agile and strong and brave. MAV didn’t take those things away. My life, my body, my tolerance for risk changed. I got older and got into other things. And we all miss the lives not lived, the choices not made, the dreams that morphed into something different. That’s just part of life. Where I thought I’d be is not where I am. But where I am has beauty and joy, new challenges and satisfaction. I bet that’s true for you, too. Don’t let your longing for something that doesn’t exist cloud your enjoyment of all that is great about where you are.
Emily