I am supposed to start Propranolol under a new neurologist. Very slowly, 10 mg once a day to start (and I may even do a trial of 5 mg the first time). I have had the prescription for a week and a half and cannot bring myself to take it. I had 2 "better" days and didn't want to ruin them, and then I went straight into a string of the worst dizzy days I've had to date (after battling MAV for 5 and a half years) and can't seem to get much better. It's all I can do to walk around the apartment, eat, and get a shower for the day, so why would I add side effects to that struggle?
Also, when I first got all these symptoms I started a med, I don't even remember, Verapamil maybe, that made my heart race and kept me awake for hours (I was told to take it at bedtime). I have also tried Nortriptyline which I couldn't tolerate. I tried to get on Amitriptyline 3 times but felt worse each time and stopped. Every medicine I seem to try makes me worse and this of course has added to the anxiety. The only medicine that has helped me so far is Xanax, but I stopped it and tried to taper off Benzos with Librium, and then went back on Xanax and it doesn't work like it used to.
Anyway, I am seeing a therapist, have tried 4 so far to find the right "fit," and none of them have had any suggestions or any way to help me with my fear of medicines and side effects (or just feeling my current symptoms gets worse) other than to write down my symptoms and see which ones I think are from the meds.
I know I need to try new meds to get my life back, but even that doesn't seem to be a strong enough motivator for me.
Does anyone have any ideas, things to try, things to think about, etc., to help? Thanks!